Two Pods in the Hole

Worried about the U.S. dollar and its exchange rate to the Euro? Or the Pound? Or the Yen? Or the Loonie? Well it's time to wise up and see the newest monetary threat to the dollar - the i-pod!

In the past couple years I have seen this new currency emerging. Money, cash, credit and the traditional monetary based system has taken a back seat to what I will call, the "Pod".

This phenomenon has manifested itself in phrases such as, "if you let me use your i-pod this weekend I'll do the dishes for you." Or, "if I can take your i-pod with me to the lake I'll give you 5 bucks." Or even, "if you let me borrow your i-pod, I'll play basketball with you for an hour."

As big brother used this last phrase successfully, I realized how the "Pod" had usurped the dollar. I mean, it would be insulting to pay your brother money to play with you. But lending him your i-pod to get him to play with you seemed perfectly acceptable.

At the core of this system, however, is Frank's inability to keep an i-pod. Great demand has been created when Frank loses, not just his i-pod(s), but those that he borrows as well. Kind of like gold was once the standard by which our monetary system was bolstered (see Fort Knox), Frank is the force which bolsters the strength of the "Pod" (see adolescent cluelessness).

Here is an example of the ebb and flow of the strength of the "Pod" over a few weeks span.

My i-pod disappeared. Since there is generally a certain reverence given to i-pods, once I asked all my blessed children and none knew of its whereabouts, I took it to be lost. Not quite valuing it at the same level as the three mouseketeers, however, I waited about three weeks to see if it showed up. When it didn't, I went to Costco and replaced it - only I replaced it with an I-touch (a fancier version of the i-pod), thus creating an encouraging trade impact on U.S. steel exports with the positive effect I created on the surging "Pod".

Frank, leaving for a school emergence trip to Canada (ay?), made a desperate and pitiful plea to borrow my i-touch on his trip. He was willing to barter many goods and services that normally would have been well worth it. But since a two hour local lending of an i-pod to Frank carries about a 20% risk of total loss, I calculated my chances of seeing my i-touch again at about .01% if Frank took it out of the country for a week. So I declined to strike up a deal. In fact, I believe my actual words were something like, "it will be a blustery snow day in Phoenix before I let you....." You get the idea.

So Frank talked his sister's friend in to letting him borrow her i-touch. I got a call from Frank at customs in Chicago, on the way to Toronto, letting me know he went to the bathroom , and someone stole the borrowed i-touch. He said he didn't have the money to replace it, so what was he going to do? We had a talk about borrowing things of greater value than the resources you have, but in the end, I indicated that we may need to give her mine until he can come up with the replacement cost. That same day, while I was in the gym during my lunch break, someone broke my car window and stole my i-touch. A further indication of the growing strength of the "Pod".

So Frank now has a horrible trade imbalance with his father.

Clark got his first i-pod for his birthday a few weeks ago, and I feared a similar trend, so I was trying to help him keep an eye on the foundation of his currency. One day I asked,

"I haven't seen you with your i-pod for hours. Do you know where it is?"

"Frank borrowed it", Clark replied.

"Oh crap!" I replied back.

I pointed out the folly of lending an i-pod to Frank, and Clark wisely agreed he should get it back and not lend it to him. Don't misunderstand me - I encourage all my three amigo(a)s to share. But come on - fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 18 times....

When Frank got home, Clark quickly asked for his i-pod back, and Frank made protestations and whinny-type noises, to which I responded, "son, between your own and someone elses i-pods, you are at least 2 pods down. You can't afford to borrow anyones i-pod.

These are tough life lessons. And someday maybe Frank will have thousands of Pods of his own. But until then, he'll have to limit the temptation to further create a trade imbalance with multiple Pod owners. It doesn't work over time. It's OK for governments. Or is it? Oh, maybe that's a whole different topic. Or maybe it isn't?