Simple, Economical and Dignified.... That's our motto!

In my mid twenties, I remember looking at a Playboy centerfolds bio, and thinking, "When did those playboys centerfolds get younger than me?" I mean, I'd been waiting to grow up enough to think of them as "in my league." OK. Reality is that's a whole different sport. Not just a different league. But you get my point.

Then there was a time in my late 30's where I went to the doctor, explained a few items that had been bugging me, and he said, "yeah. That stuff happens with age." HEY! What happened to fixing things?

A few years ago, my son Clark got clocked in the head with a ball, and had a bump and a cut as a result. (One of many times, unfortunately.) A couple days later you could barely make out the spot he'd been hit. Meanwhile, I looked down at the back of my hand where I'd been cut a month ago, and thought, "when is THAT thing gonna heal!"

So as I picked up my mail today, I did as most do with their mail, ignored the obvious advertisements and bills, and grabbed the one envelope that looked personal - ivory envelope, script written, no obvious return address. And as I looked closer, pregnant excitement in the air at receiving the potentially personal note from a friend, I notice a hook in the bottom left corner - Free Pre-Paid Cremation! Details Inside.

Marketing acumen aside, (Why go to the effort of tricking me if you're going to put a hook on the front of the personal-looking envelope?), am I supposed to get excited by that? What mailing list did I get on that I'm receiving this special offer? And if I'm cremated, will my soul still make it to heaven?

Well - it just struck me as another milestone. One I could have done without right now. But one that I'm glad I'm around to reach, anyway. For now, I'll leave anyone interested with the following new knowledge I now possess:

Cremation makes sense because:

• It allows families to conduct simple personal services at their own convenience.


• It is much less expensive.


• It has less impact on the environment.

Sheesh - I think Dr. Kevorkian and Darryl Hannah have teamed up.