Marital Status

Recently I had to fill out some change forms for insurance. The first section of the form is "Personal Information". The first two questions are as follows:

1. Sex

• Male
• Female

2. Marital Status

• Single
• Married
• Divorced

Now stop reading and think about that.......

Aside from the fact I've been known to choke on multiple choice tests (although I'm almost sure I got the first question right), I am divorced; so I will forever be two of the three above. I think it's a trick question. So drawing on my many years of experience with multiple choice questions, I developed a better thought-out list:

A. Single
B. Married
C. Divorced
D. A & C
E. B & C
F. All of the above (Divorced Mormon)

"Single" or "Married" seems appropriate. We're all going to be one of the two. Seems unfair to know more about me.

D - Hey - can I buy you a drink?
S - Sure - you don't seem too weird. You're not married are you?
D - No!
S - How do I know for sure? Let me see your insurance form.
D - OK. See here? Not married.
S - No. But your not single either. You lied to me. Loser. With baggage. Take a hike.

Upon reflection however, something is still bothering me. As the "divorced" label clearly gives more personal information out than a simple single or married individual is sharing, it just seems fair to expound on Marital Status a bit more. Since we're getting to know each other with this form - and after all, the section IS called "Personal Information"- a thorough vetting of each status seems appropriate.

Single

• Waiting for Mr/Miss Right
• By choice and happy about it
• But shacking up

Married

• Happily
• Miserably
• How many times? ____

Divorced

• Amiably
• Ugly
• How many times? ____

There. That seems more balanced. And now the insurance form can have multiple uses. Such as in on-line dating selection. Or in better knowing your neighbors. We could be geo-coded so your neighbors can know how and where the divorcees and multi-marrying bastard types are in relation to the home you want to buy. All these things effect home values - as well as the safety of our children. But I'm drifting here a bit. I know I know. I'm divorced. Get used to it.

(Bonus points for identifying the picture and number of times married)