Storage Wars

Having been bought, sold and acquired numerous times in my working world, helping out with the most recent acquisition seemed straight forward enough. And for the most part, it is as you would expect; chaotic and ever-changing. But I wasn’t prepared for the challenge of taking over a storage unit at Public Storage. Here’s how it has played out...

I am in California, where we are closing an office that we acquired from Marriott in a recent acquisition. I was informed that there is a storage unit used for old records (seven year rule) and we were wondering how much is there so we can pick it up and transfer it to our existing Oakwood facility. So I locate a file with an access code and some miscellaneous keys that I hope go to a padlock at the storage facility, and I head out to check it out.

When I arrive and try the code, it says the code has been deactivated. So I go in to the office, explain who I am, show ID, my card, etc.. They say, “oh I’ll have to check with my district manager to see what we need to do.” “OK, give me a call when you know”, I reply. So later that day they call and say they need a letter on Marriott letterhead signed by an officer of the company indicating that the transaction occurred that makes Oakwood the new owner of the company. Then I got to thinking, is anyone in the office in touch with the old manager? Maybe they have a newer code. Yes! OK, I head back to the storage facility. As I approach the gate, the girls in the office are looking right at me. So I approach and say,

“I have a new code from the old manager, is it OK if I try it?”
“No”, they say. I am not an authorized user of the facility and they can’t allow me to be on the premises. “And all codes associated with that account have been suspended.”
“How about you call the cell phone in your records and ask the former manager, who will verify all this and OK me entering the facility?”
“No, we’ve made a note on the account that he no longer works for the company”, they say.
“Based on the information I gave you?”
“Yes”, they say.
I say, “That doesn’t strike you as kind of absurd?”
“What?” they reply.
“The fact that you can’t take my word that I now work for the company that bought out this company, but you take my word that the manager is no longer working for the company?”
“Well, he doesn’t, does he?” they say.
“No, he doesn’t”, I verify. “Could you go on-line and verify the transaction took place, and then you can contact my company to verify I’m an employee?”
“No. We need the letter.”
“Could you just go look in the unit and tell me what’s in there?”
“No – we’re not authorized users of that unit”, they say.
“But you work here”, I reply.
“Doesn’t matter”, they say.
“This is how Storage Wars was created, huh?”
“What’s Storage Wars?” they say.

At this point, I’m starting to wonder about IQ levels.

So a week later, I return to the storage place, letter in hand.
“I’m back! Letter in hand.”
“I’m sorry, it needs to be notarized. And here is an additional form indicating a transfer of fiduciary responsibility, which we will need an officer of Marriott to fill out.  Payment has not been received in two months.  Could you pay for those two months?”  they say.
"Will it get me access to the unit?" I ask.
"No", they reply.
"Then I don't think I'll pay right now.  Did you used to work for the Department of Motor Vehicles?” I ask.
“What?, Why?”
“Nevermind”

I may never get in that storage unit.