The other day, I went in to Starbucks for the two-hundred twenty first time. Despite this frequency, I don't know the language. I don't know the language, because I always order one of three things: a small coffee, a medium sized coffee, or a large coffee. I also don't know the language because it's not logical to me. "Vente", "grande" & "tall" all sound like "large" to me. So I just order a coffee - whatever size I want - small, medium or large.
First thing in the morning, my choice will generally be a "large coffee". One of the advantages of this order is that it works at Starbucks, 7-11, Circle K , Dunkin Donuts, and virtually all restaurants in North America. Nevermind that when I order a "large coffee" at Starbucks, the barrista** turns around and says, "one vente sumatra without a shot and hold the syrup, no whip cream - with room!" Or something like that.
On this particular visit, however, I ran into a snag. I ordered a large coffee. The response I received surprised me. Instead of turning around to give the baristess the secret code for a large coffee, I was informed that their brewer was not working. So they had no coffee. The staff did not seem overly concerned that the coffee house could not make coffee. Nor did the customers.
As I turned to go, the Barista made a suggestion. The Americana. "What's that?" I asked, pleedingly. I really wanted a cup of coffee. "It's espresso with water. A lot like a coffee."
"O.K. - I'll have a big one of those, then," I said.
"Thank you", said the barista. "That will be $3.15."
Huh?? I want a one dollar cup of coffee from the coffee shop. But because you can't make me a coffee, my option is to buy a facximilie of what I want for three times the cost?
I must be getting persnickity as I age; because this stuck in my craw. Of course, the very fact I used the terms "persnickity" and "craw" indicate I'm not a young hipster. Anyway, I'm sure if I pitched a fit about the price of the "Americana", I would not have had to pay more. But I'm just not that guy. I'm the guy who just doesn't come back.
So where do I go from here? First of all, I exsagerated. Starbucks' large coffee was about $1.50. I went to the Starbucks at the grocery store because i was irritated with the other store. And my large coffee was $2.00!! AND I sat by the meat counter and read the paper. No comfy chair. No nice music. But there was some comfort in having all that meat around. Not sure why, and that is surely a whole different topic.
So back to my Starbucks 3/4 of a mile from my house. Because even though they aren't perfect, they have become "my" coffee shop. Which not only get's me a cup of coffee, but get's me a mile and a half morning walk.
I wonder if there's any traction to the idea of a partnership with a butcher and Starbucks? You know, like Kansas Beef and Starbucks. "Calf and Caffeign". Or, "Hot Coffee and Hot Dogs".
Comfy chair; nice music; and Sam the butcher slicing and dicing tonights dinner. How very comforting that would be.
**Barista - from Urban Dictionary - 1) A person trained in the art of preparing and serving espresso. 2) Anyone who prepares and serves coffee products in a coffee shop.
