What's That Smell??

While walking my dog Lexi this morning, I was pondering the way of dogs – as I often do during a walk. In particular, I was thinking about the peculiarity with which a dog goes about using their superpowers – that being super-smell noses.

Knowing that a dogs’ sense of smell is so acute that it dominates its brain, I’m fascinated by the way a dog wants to stick it directly into their targeted curiosity; most often, other dog excrement, or other dog butt. AND there seems to be a lot of excitement and joy associated with this act. But based on my observations, the following is Lexi’s basic internal dialogue during the course of a walk…

“Oh-boy- oh-boy-oh-boy!! Goin’ for a walk!! I’m walkin.. I’m walkin’.. I’m walk – wait!! What’s that smell?! Over there! A dog has pooped! Yes! Yes! Oh-boy- oh-boy-oh-boy!! What a great day this is going to be!! Gotta get my nose closer to the poop! Even though I could actually smell it two blocks back – gotta put my nose right down as close as possible – maybe even IN the poop!! Oh-boy- oh-boy-oh-boy!! That smells so great!!! Wait! Lighten up on the leash – I’m not done! Noooo… I’m not done. I’m not done! Oh Ok. We’ll walk some more. I’m walkin.. I’m walkin’.. I’m walk – wait!! What’s that smell?! Over there! Another dog has pooped! Yes! Yes! Oh-boy- oh-boy-oh-boy!! ……” And so it goes.

Clearly dogs are wired differently than people. If you stuck that super nose on me and took me for a walk, the internal dialogue would be more like….

“Oh nice! Going for a walk!! So nice out today, fresh air and… ack!! Jeez what’s that smell!? Walk the other way! Walk the other way! Whoa!! What’s THAT smell?! I think I’m gonna’ barf!! Wow! Look over their – a dog! Hey dog! You’re butt smells like crap! Hell, MY butt smells like crap too!!!......”

But with a dog’s nose being so very sensitive, I’m baffled by a dog’s desire to stick their nose as close as possible to something even I can smell – not to mention, the more rank the smell, the closer they want to get to it. I’ve recently developed a new theory about this. I think dogs have little CSI-type brains; and their keen interest and focus on rank smells is actually a detailed analysis of the item….

“hmmm…. What do we have here?” Sniff-sniff-sniff-sniff. “Ahhh – discharged 24.2 minutes ago - Alpo, December, 2009 - beef and lamb parts – 2% sulfer – YES!” Sniff-sniff-sniff-sniff. “It’s that little shitzu down the block – 32 minutes late today – slightly dehydrated” Sniff-sniff-sniff-sniff –“left in a southeasterly direction at 2.3 miles per hour – should have arrived home 8.7 minutes ago, approximately 10.6 ounces lighter than at the start of her walk….”

I like this theory because I like to think my dog is smart. Any other theory leads to the same conclusion in the end. My dog is not very smart. My canine may actually be stupid. That my hairy sniffing machine is a super-nosed moron. But no. I think Lexi has a little CSI brain. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

Ack! What’s that smell?