Sales Hasn't Changed THAT Much.

As a District Manager managing a business unit, one of the biggest reasons I love my job is that I get to play in all the areas of discipline – accounting, sales, customer service…. never a dull moment. I was reminded of this yesterday as I drove around Prescott, Arizona, trying to figure out a particular account.

I was primarily looking for inventory – but was struggling because I knew so little about what I was going to need the inventory for. I was caught in what I have started referring to as the “Oakwood Chicken or Egg”. This phrase being well represented by the following situation:

AE (Acct Exec): Hi DM! Hey, can you find me some inventory for this RFP?
DM (Dist Mgr): Sure! How many? How often? How Long?
AE: It’s a lot! But don’t know real specifically until we win the RFP.
DM: (Pause) K – So what am I looking for?
AE: Currently you only have one option around there – and we need to present more than one option.
DM: (Pause – I’m thinking I’m thinking!) K – So where are they staying now?
AE: The Best Western Prescotonian.
DM: Why? Where do they work?
AE: Not sure.

OK – so to Prescott I go. With Kim Floyd’s help – since she lives up there and she is very helpful – we struck out with a couple goals – and more questions surfacing as we went along. Where do they work? Do they travel anywhere else, like the air force base? (Because it is weird that they are staying a dozen miles away at the Best Western when there are numerous new budget motels a couple miles from their work place.) What other apartment options can we dig up? (Because there’s not much to choose from.) And what is that building out in the middle of that plain that doesn’t seem to have a road going to it?

Well, first things first. To Lockheed Martin we go. Kim knows where the building is. (Thanks Kim!) Since I can think of no cover story that will get us any better information, I make a plan to go with the truth. And I head for the main entrance to ask some basic questions about their travelers. Immediately I am foiled by a highly secured locked-down facility. They didn’t even answer the intercom. I just have a few simple questions no one would mind answering – and I promise not to talk to tell the Chinese military anything I learn.

So what now? Old trick - go around back and look for smokers. Eureka! Three smokers in the parking lot!!

DM: (Leaning out my car window) Hi! We’re with Oakwood, a temporary housing company and we’ve been invited to help Lockheed try to come up with housing options. Is it OK if we ask a couple questions?
Smoker #1: Sure.
DM: I understand right now there are people staying at the Best Western.
Smoker #2: That would be us.
DM: (Ha! Paydirt!! I didn’t say that aloud – but I could feel it bouncing around the car.) How did you end up there?
Smoker #3: I don’t know; that’s where they put us.
DM: Do you ever have to go to any other work location?
Smoker #2: Not anymore. This is it.
Kim: How long are you here for?
Smoker #1: 90 days.
Kim: Best Western for 90 days?
Smoker #2: They have, like, mini-fridges in the room.
And so it went for a few minutes…. And before driving away, the most important question…
DM: Does anybody have any idea what that big building over there in the middle of nowhere is?
Smoker #1: It’s a University.
Smoker #2: I heard it’s a prison.
Smoker #3: No idea.

Well – at least we found out where they were staying, for how long, and that they only travel to this particular facility.

DM: We need a map – there’s got to be a road to that place.
Kim: We’ve already driven all the way around it.
DM: Yeah, but there are cars out there.
Kim: There’s got to be some new apartments by the new arena.
DM: Oh yeah! Apartments!!

To the arena we go!

DM: You were right – look! Two new complexes!! Hi! We’re with Oakwood Corporate Housing. We take leases and set up apartments for our clients.
PM (Property Manager): We are low income housing.
DM: Darn! HUD housing. (Not out loud, of course)
Kim: May I please use your rest room? This moron has been driving me around in big circles trying to kill me and looking for a road that doesn’t seem to exist. (Or more polite words to that effect.)
PM: We aren’t HUD housing, but we use HUD guidelines.
DM: Oh. So you only rent to low income tenants but receive no HUD funding? I have some general business advice for your owner if they’re interested. (OK – I didn’t say that either - I let it go)
PM: The new building across the street is ours too – also low income, and only seniors.
DM: (0 for 2)

And so the inventory hunt went. Until ....

DM: Hi! I’m John and this is my colleague Kim and we are with Oakwood Corporate Housing. We take leases and set up apartments for our clients.
PM: Well where have you been? We have apartments and would love for you to take leases.
DM: (Excellent!) This is a nice property. How old are you here?
Leasing Agent: That’s kind of a personal question.

Everyone’s a comedian.

But in the end, the day was successful on a couple fronts:

• Identified key account detail
• Identified key logistical data
• Identified new inventory
  
  Oh yeah, that big building was a University. And there was a road.
  
  
  
  
  

A Tale of Two Coffee Shops

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way -

My new residence is located almost exactly between two coffee shops. They are about 1 mile from each other, but culturally, on opposite sides of the world.

If I walk northeast ½ mile I arrive at Le Grande Orange. www.lagrandeorangepizzeria.com Le Grande Orange is about the swankiest little coffee shop/market/pizzeria you’re ever gonna’ see. And the people who patronize this establishment are beautiful – as are the people who work there. Well dressed and groomed, it is a great place to see and be seen. Morning dress code is workout-type cloths - the kind that cost more than my work cloths. Great music, cool greeting cards, gormet morning sandwiches. Very pleasant.

If, however, I walk southwest from my home about ½ mile I arrive at Mama Java’s. www.mamajavascoffeehouse.com The people who visit Mama Java’s are an eclectic group. The bookish girl in the corner reading poetry. The chatty middle aged gentleman who has gray hair in a ponytail, dancing eyes, and jeans with holes in them. On Fridays and Saturdays they always have live music in the evening – mostly of the folk-bent. It is not where the beautiful people hang out. It is, however, where the interesting people hang out.

I am, of course, drawn to both of these worlds. It makes me realize that in so many ways life never changes after junior high. It starts in junior and senior high - the social push-me-pull-you between various groups - friends in the band, friends who were jocks, and friends who were not very popular but were highly intelligent. And it is socially disturbing how most people don’t want to mix their groups.

Here in Phoenix, Arcadia is where the popular people have set down their roots. There is a social pressure to conform, keep up, drive the right cars, hang out with the right people, etc. There is a thinly disguised disdain for other areas of town and the people in them. Of course, Le Grande Orange is in Arcadia. Mama Java’s is on Indian School road and west of 40th street – outside of Arcadia. And I am halfway between them.

I’ve been entrenched in Arcadia for years - and uncomfortable about it the whole time. My residence is a weigh-station to another world; and it is not easy to transition from one to the other. At Le Grande Orange, I’ll run into people I know. I haven’t run into anyone I know yet at Mama Java’s. But I’m looking forward to that. So far I still feel out of place. No – that’s not accurate – I feel like I abandoned the place years ago. More of a “going home” and people are curious because I look vaguely familiar. As if I might belong there. Or I might not.

So, as I walk out the front door in the morning, I have my choice of which world to begin my day. How much do I hang on to my old world? How much do I want to hang on to my old world?

For now, anyway, I need them both. And, it is a far, far better thing that I do, than… OK, a little dramatic. But you get the idea.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

I am more of a person
and less of a person.

Someone I know
and someone I don't know.

A best friend
and an enemy.

Self sufficient
and helpless.

Can't Get it Done? Yes!

I have been noticing a disturbing trend in our society. I'm going to call this trend, enthusiastic failure. In fairness, it may have always been there and I'm just becoming more cynical. But it is hitting my radar now.

Enthusiastic Failure; the tendency to find reasons why you can't complete a task or assignment, and the total acceptance of this state.

The simplest example of this is when you are ready to make a purchase at a store and they can't take your money because their computer is "down".

Me: "Well, pick it up, open your hand, and take my 50 cents for this paper. When your computer is 'up' you can hit the 'paper' button and put my 50 cents in your auto-opening cash drawer."
Clerk: Good-naturedly and politely - "I'm sorry. I won't be able to sell you anything until the computer is up.
Me: "Seriously? I mean, the paper is 50 cents. And here's 50 cents".
Clerk: "It would not be ethical of me to take a bribe."
Me: "I'm not offering you a 50 cent bribe to give me a paper. I want to buy it!
Clerk: "But if I have no way for accounting for it, it would be like you stole the paper".
Me: "You could write it down so you don't forget it".
Clerk: "No. My training was very clear regarding that. No manual processes are permitted. If you could come back in an hour, the computer will probably be up."
Me: "I'll give you 5 bucks for that paper."
Clerk: "Why would you pay 5 dollars for a 50 cent paper?"

Unfortunately, enthusiastic failure is too often present in the workplace, and it is most often wrapped in the following phrase: "that's not in my job description".

Me: "Why aren't there any welcome binders going out for today's arriving customers?"
EFA: (EFA = enthusiastic failure associate) "We're out of binders."
Me: "Why didn't you order more when you saw we were getting low?"
EFA: "It's not my job to order new binders."
Me: "OK, it may not be written specifically in your job description, but you have ordered them in the past and because you are the person who puts the binders together, you are the person that would see we are running out."
EFA: Confident and secure in their righteousness - "You had EEA (EEA = enthusiastic and effective associate) order them last month when he noticed we were running low."
Me: "Yes. When alerted that supplies were running low, I gave the executive order to order more supplies."
EFA: "Then why don't you have EEA do it from now on."
Me: "Because he is not directly involved in the process. He just happened to notice we were getting low last month. I need you to at least alert me when supplies are getting low because you are the only one using these supplies every day."
EFA: "Well, I see your point. But it's not in my job description. And by the way, I'm still offended that you only gave me a "meets expectations" on my annual review.

An offshoot to the enthusiastic failure is the over-proceduralized-mush-brain effect, best demonstrated when paying cash and trying to minimize the bills in my wallet and coins in my pocket. To see this effect demonstrated, go to a fast food establishment, and order food that puts you somewhere between 5 and 10 dollars. Be armed with a twenty, four ones, and a decent amount of change, but no five or ten dollar bills. For example, for a $7.73 ticket, present a twenty, three ones, and twenty-three cents - thus minimizing your change to a ten, a five and two quarters. The truly acclimatized individual won't bat an eye. They'll give a quizzical look and punch $23.23 into their computer and let it tell them what change to give you - not even noticing that it is a neat and tidy sum. But as often as not, they will stare at the money you have presented, and try to just take your twenty, wondering why you have tried to give them more.

There are three distinctive looks/reactions that seem most present in this situation and I have outlined them below:

1. Disdain - "you are so stoopid to give me all that money for a $7.73 order".
2. Skepticism - "I think there is probably a reason you are giving me all this money for this $7.73 order. I think you are up to something."
3. Confusion - "Why are you giving me all this money? Do you not understand this is only a $7.73 order?"

Much of the enthusiastic failure effect is brought upon by misguided motivations. For example:

I have 7 places I have to stop today. At each there is a task distinctive to that stop. For instance, deliver a toaster at the first stop, fix internet at the second, switch out a vacuum at the third, etc.. At the first stop it seemed no one was home and the deadbolt was on. At the second, internet didn't work even with the my laptop. And at the third, a piece of the vacuum to be delivered was missing.... In each case extra effort will accomplish the task but threaten to set me back, endangering my ability to address all seven tasks. What do I do? Too often, I see someone who makes all seven stops, yet fails to complete many of the tasks. Their motivation is to complete their rounds, thus checking off each box, yet often achieving nothing. When they can't complete a task, they sigh with relief because they can now move on to the next task. Thus giving the perception of efficiency.

The shortcomings from all these examples can all be over come with one simple concept, often put forth by intellectuals and success magnets everywhere, such as Larry the Cable Guy, when he says: "Git-R-Done!!"

Please. Take my 50 cents. Just git-r-done.

Family Operated For Four Generations!

In an effort to stretch the monthly budget, I allowed my 10 year old to pick out any two 5 pound bags of breakfast cereal from the off-brand cereal section. I already have a general rule about not spending more than $2.50 on a box of cereal; as there are always on-sale options in that range among the ubiquitous staples: Cheerios, Rice Crispies, etc.

This morning I had a bowl of one of the items Clark picked out – “something-er-other Malteys”, aka “Lucky Charms”. Yummy! As is the tradition, I read the packaging while consuming the packages’ contents. What do you know! The “off brand” was Malt-O-Meal. I know Malt-O-Meal!! What ever happened to Malt-O-Meal? You know - that chocolate hot breakfast stuff. Now they make huge bags of knock off cereal!?

In large print, following the “Malt-O-Meal” moniker is the marketing slogan, “Family Run for Four Generations”. After reading this morning that Castro has resigned and his brother is officially now the leader of Cuba – but no substantial changes are expected - the family-run marketing slogan seems dubious. “Cuba! Family Owned and Operated since 1959!!” Buy Cuban bonds!

There are many examples of companies turning the reigns over to immediate family members, or the next generation, with mixed results. On the plus side I would say Marriott did it pretty well, although I think there are issues finding a third generation member with enough brains or initiative to keep that one going. Hugh Heffner has turned Playboy over to his daughter. Ewe. Didn’t see THAT one coming. And Tommy Boy – well, Dan Akroyd, Rob Low and Bo Derick tried to stop that one, but it ended OK.

But back to questionable marketing slogans: “Developed by a 3rd Grade Teacher!!” This is one of my favorites. Since Airborne is a product ostensibly produced for my health, it is curious to me that they by-passed medical or technical expertise for “Developed by a 3rd Grade Teacher!!” Am I supposed to feel good about that? Does it have Ritalin in it?

And going back to the family run thing – makes sense if the company is family oriented. “Reunions R’US – family run since 1950!” I guess cereal is sort of family-like - at least at my house. Now, “The Divorce Store – Family Run since November!” See – it doesn’t work well there. But really, how often do you see generation after generation step up, being visionary and effective like their predecessors. Look at the Hilton family. Yikes! And the Bush’s and Clinton’s. When did it become a good idea for political nepotism? OK, most of world history – but I think we all agree now that it is not necessarily a good succession of leadership in a democracy. At the very least, it’s confusing.

It is true, however, that we need a marketing campaign for the our proud country since the world is really annoyed with us. If Hillary were to win, we could try:

“United States of America – Family Owned and Operated since 1989!”

Not as impressive as Cuba. But give us some time.

Heart, Mind and Trust

I have a history of throwing my vote away in presidential elections. I like to stick to my origional candidate, even if they don't win their primary. "Go Gary Anderson!!" So during the first few presidential elections I was able to participate in, I exercised my free will and voted for the best candidate! Wether or not they stuck with their party.

This changed after moving to Washington D.C.. A few years in the beltway is a sobering electoral and democratic experience. Getting the Washington Post thrown on your driveway each morning is both joyess and depressing; depending on the day and which section of the paper you are reading. I really miss that paper, though. Great paper.

And this uber-journalistic paper provided a great day-to-day view of our federal government in action; providing equal parts insight, awe, and disgust.

So, after preparing myself to be inspired by a better understanding of our two party system, I found myself, instead, dissillussioned by it. An unrealistic idealist such as myself had always wanted to beieve the best candidate is the best person running for office. The most honest, credible, and moral candidate. "Atticus Finch for President!!" But what did I learn? Hey, I lived in D.C. during the Clinton administration. What do YOU think I learned?

Well, after begrudgingly admitting the two party system really does create a unifying plurality that is better than other systems (see "France" and the jokes about 5 guys in a phone booth - new party - blah blah blah), I turned my learning insight to a newfound respect for the structure of our three branches of government. The system that minimizes the damage any one Bush president can inflict on the planet. (Oops! Did that thought come out of my mouth?)

It is the manipulation of this system that often makes a great president. And it tends to get done in one of two ways - but rarely in both. One way is to be charasmatic enough to sway public opinion with such inertia toward your goals that the public itself pressures all three branches to enact change. (In recent history - see "Reagan" and "Clinton". Bill, that is. Swimming pools. Movie stars.) Obama has the potential to be this guy.

The other way is by working the system from the inside. Knowing the players - having the credibility and experience to get what is needed from the inside. Hillary and McCain both could be effective presidents from this perspective.

Finally, though, there is a factor that is more ellusive; and that generally becomes apparent only in retrospect. I'll call it the "Right Guy At The Right Time" factor. (See Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt - either one - JFK, and Gerald Ford - maybe even Bill Clinton - to site just a few.)

So with this splintered frame work, let's look at the race today - Hillary, Obama and McCain. Not at the issues - that's too easy and there are already web sites for matching your concerns with the right candidates. (Who, by the way, have mostly dropped out of the race by now) But with the factors people actually tend to take into account when they vote for a Presidential candidate. Emotional, personality-type, looks, photographic images - you know - People magazine factors.

Hillary - Hillary has the potential to be the most effective of the three candidates from the inside. Knows how to work the system. Cold, calculating bitc@ that I think will go after many issues I believe need to be gone after, and will kick as# and take names along the way. I just hope my name is never on her list. The "ewe" factor may not be something she can overcome, however, and I don't think she has the ability to win over the hearts and trust of the American people. Allthough, interestingly, she would probably be more popular across the rest of the globe. (Allthough I can't remember why I have that impression. Probably read it in people magazine.) I believe she can capture the "minds" of americans - yes. Intillectually, she seems a good choice. Heart and trust, no. Being female has no negative connotation associated with any of the things I've pointed out - in fact, we're so far overdue on the female and minority fronts that there is a guilt vote to be had by either democratic candidate.

Supposition - Hillary could be an effective president; unlikely to be popular, and the candidate I would least like to meet in a dark alley if they are pissed at me.

Obama - Obama is the guy that could win the hearts of americans, and maybe the world. And then again, so was Jimmy Carter. And Obama seems very smart and very moral. And then again, so was Jimmy Carter. We have heard other potential comparisons, however, to give much more hope. Chiefly among them, Reagan and JFK. Heady stuff! There is both a heartfelt following and the potential of the "Right Guy At The Right Time". But Obama's candidacy also seems a little fuzzy and unsure. Which kind of makes it all the more exciting!!

Supposition - bigger risk than Hillary - with potential for bigger reward - or bigger loss. Feels a little like gambling. And the guy I least want to have around me in a dark alley, because I'd have to stick up for him and I'd probably get my as@ kicked defending him. But my friend, non-the-less.

McCain - "Hutt hutt!!" Since I live in Arizona, I have a pretty good impression of this guy, and I trust him. I trust him right now; and I don't wonder so much if I will still trust him next year. The problem is I don't always agree with him. But of the three candidates, I trust him to cross party lines to do the "right" things when push comes to shove. And given our current international presence and state of war, there is a strong feeling of the "Right Guy At The Right Time". He's not that polished and get's caught in it at times, (economics is not his strong suit??) but that sort of reminds me of someone else who was the "Right Guy At The Right Time" who I admired greatly - Gerald Ford. Hardly some big, dynamic presidency - but a guy that knew how to prioritize.

Supposition - McCain doesn't always have the same priorities I do, but maybe has the best potential to improve and stabalize our country and the globe - and global politics are quickly becoming a priority - though you can't tell that from our current presidents' priorities. The rest of this planet HATES us right now. And, McCain is the guy I most want in a dark alley, by my side.

Conclussion - unlike past presidential elections of my life, I don't feel we can lose. They all are actually good candidates. It is quite refreshing. To summarize this blog's observations:

Hillary -Mind
Obama - Heart
McCain - Trust

My Last Visit to Starbucks?

Starbucks - a coffee shop - has succeeded in creating a product of great appeal. Great Music. Appealing colors. Warm decor. Comfortable setting overall. Oh - and they have good coffee.

The other day, I went in to Starbucks for the two-hundred twenty first time. Despite this frequency, I don't know the language. I don't know the language, because I always order one of three things: a small coffee, a medium sized coffee, or a large coffee. I also don't know the language because it's not logical to me. "Vente", "grande" & "tall" all sound like "large" to me. So I just order a coffee - whatever size I want - small, medium or large.

First thing in the morning, my choice will generally be a "large coffee". One of the advantages of this order is that it works at Starbucks, 7-11, Circle K , Dunkin Donuts, and virtually all restaurants in North America. Nevermind that when I order a "large coffee" at Starbucks, the barrista** turns around and says, "one vente sumatra without a shot and hold the syrup, no whip cream - with room!" Or something like that.

On this particular visit, however, I ran into a snag. I ordered a large coffee. The response I received surprised me. Instead of turning around to give the baristess the secret code for a large coffee, I was informed that their brewer was not working. So they had no coffee. The staff did not seem overly concerned that the coffee house could not make coffee. Nor did the customers.

As I turned to go, the Barista made a suggestion. The Americana. "What's that?" I asked, pleedingly. I really wanted a cup of coffee. "It's espresso with water. A lot like a coffee."

"O.K. - I'll have a big one of those, then," I said.
"Thank you", said the barista. "That will be $3.15."

Huh?? I want a one dollar cup of coffee from the coffee shop. But because you can't make me a coffee, my option is to buy a facximilie of what I want for three times the cost?

I must be getting persnickity as I age; because this stuck in my craw. Of course, the very fact I used the terms "persnickity" and "craw" indicate I'm not a young hipster. Anyway, I'm sure if I pitched a fit about the price of the "Americana", I would not have had to pay more. But I'm just not that guy. I'm the guy who just doesn't come back.

So where do I go from here? First of all, I exsagerated. Starbucks' large coffee was about $1.50. I went to the Starbucks at the grocery store because i was irritated with the other store. And my large coffee was $2.00!! AND I sat by the meat counter and read the paper. No comfy chair. No nice music. But there was some comfort in having all that meat around. Not sure why, and that is surely a whole different topic.

So back to my Starbucks 3/4 of a mile from my house. Because even though they aren't perfect, they have become "my" coffee shop. Which not only get's me a cup of coffee, but get's me a mile and a half morning walk.

I wonder if there's any traction to the idea of a partnership with a butcher and Starbucks? You know, like Kansas Beef and Starbucks. "Calf and Caffeign". Or, "Hot Coffee and Hot Dogs".

Comfy chair; nice music; and Sam the butcher slicing and dicing tonights dinner. How very comforting that would be.

**Barista - from Urban Dictionary - 1) A person trained in the art of preparing and serving espresso. 2) Anyone who prepares and serves coffee products in a coffee shop.