Can't Get it Done? Yes!

I have been noticing a disturbing trend in our society. I'm going to call this trend, enthusiastic failure. In fairness, it may have always been there and I'm just becoming more cynical. But it is hitting my radar now.

Enthusiastic Failure; the tendency to find reasons why you can't complete a task or assignment, and the total acceptance of this state.

The simplest example of this is when you are ready to make a purchase at a store and they can't take your money because their computer is "down".

Me: "Well, pick it up, open your hand, and take my 50 cents for this paper. When your computer is 'up' you can hit the 'paper' button and put my 50 cents in your auto-opening cash drawer."
Clerk: Good-naturedly and politely - "I'm sorry. I won't be able to sell you anything until the computer is up.
Me: "Seriously? I mean, the paper is 50 cents. And here's 50 cents".
Clerk: "It would not be ethical of me to take a bribe."
Me: "I'm not offering you a 50 cent bribe to give me a paper. I want to buy it!
Clerk: "But if I have no way for accounting for it, it would be like you stole the paper".
Me: "You could write it down so you don't forget it".
Clerk: "No. My training was very clear regarding that. No manual processes are permitted. If you could come back in an hour, the computer will probably be up."
Me: "I'll give you 5 bucks for that paper."
Clerk: "Why would you pay 5 dollars for a 50 cent paper?"

Unfortunately, enthusiastic failure is too often present in the workplace, and it is most often wrapped in the following phrase: "that's not in my job description".

Me: "Why aren't there any welcome binders going out for today's arriving customers?"
EFA: (EFA = enthusiastic failure associate) "We're out of binders."
Me: "Why didn't you order more when you saw we were getting low?"
EFA: "It's not my job to order new binders."
Me: "OK, it may not be written specifically in your job description, but you have ordered them in the past and because you are the person who puts the binders together, you are the person that would see we are running out."
EFA: Confident and secure in their righteousness - "You had EEA (EEA = enthusiastic and effective associate) order them last month when he noticed we were running low."
Me: "Yes. When alerted that supplies were running low, I gave the executive order to order more supplies."
EFA: "Then why don't you have EEA do it from now on."
Me: "Because he is not directly involved in the process. He just happened to notice we were getting low last month. I need you to at least alert me when supplies are getting low because you are the only one using these supplies every day."
EFA: "Well, I see your point. But it's not in my job description. And by the way, I'm still offended that you only gave me a "meets expectations" on my annual review.

An offshoot to the enthusiastic failure is the over-proceduralized-mush-brain effect, best demonstrated when paying cash and trying to minimize the bills in my wallet and coins in my pocket. To see this effect demonstrated, go to a fast food establishment, and order food that puts you somewhere between 5 and 10 dollars. Be armed with a twenty, four ones, and a decent amount of change, but no five or ten dollar bills. For example, for a $7.73 ticket, present a twenty, three ones, and twenty-three cents - thus minimizing your change to a ten, a five and two quarters. The truly acclimatized individual won't bat an eye. They'll give a quizzical look and punch $23.23 into their computer and let it tell them what change to give you - not even noticing that it is a neat and tidy sum. But as often as not, they will stare at the money you have presented, and try to just take your twenty, wondering why you have tried to give them more.

There are three distinctive looks/reactions that seem most present in this situation and I have outlined them below:

1. Disdain - "you are so stoopid to give me all that money for a $7.73 order".
2. Skepticism - "I think there is probably a reason you are giving me all this money for this $7.73 order. I think you are up to something."
3. Confusion - "Why are you giving me all this money? Do you not understand this is only a $7.73 order?"

Much of the enthusiastic failure effect is brought upon by misguided motivations. For example:

I have 7 places I have to stop today. At each there is a task distinctive to that stop. For instance, deliver a toaster at the first stop, fix internet at the second, switch out a vacuum at the third, etc.. At the first stop it seemed no one was home and the deadbolt was on. At the second, internet didn't work even with the my laptop. And at the third, a piece of the vacuum to be delivered was missing.... In each case extra effort will accomplish the task but threaten to set me back, endangering my ability to address all seven tasks. What do I do? Too often, I see someone who makes all seven stops, yet fails to complete many of the tasks. Their motivation is to complete their rounds, thus checking off each box, yet often achieving nothing. When they can't complete a task, they sigh with relief because they can now move on to the next task. Thus giving the perception of efficiency.

The shortcomings from all these examples can all be over come with one simple concept, often put forth by intellectuals and success magnets everywhere, such as Larry the Cable Guy, when he says: "Git-R-Done!!"

Please. Take my 50 cents. Just git-r-done.