Senator Weiner, can you just answer the one question? Is it really that hard? To answer the question, I mean.
Rarely does a story come along begging to be made fun of with this sort of volume. (At least to the average guy - of any age - because wiener jokes are agelessly hilarious!) Since I believe Anthony, that someone else posted his package – not him – I have been holding back, pressure ever mounting. But as of this morning, a few salient factors hit me:
- With some wit and humility on the wiener’s part, this thing wouldn’t even be a story.
- When one is thrust into the spotlight, it is an opportunity to perform. It’s not the size of the spotlight that counts; but how you use the spotlight.
- He’s a Senator – if he didn’t like the spotlight or being called wiener - a career change would be in order. As well as a name change.
- Senator Weiner won’t answer the basic question, is it Wiener’s wiener?
- He’s acting like, well, a wiener!
So all bets are off!!
I initially felt bad for him with the reality that he has gone through life with the wiener-thing . And I do feel bad that, obviously as a result of all that teasing growing up, he had no choice for a career but to go into politics; taking him from wiener squared to wiener cubed. But, Gods sake, man up wiener boy!
If Senator Weiner went for a ride in the wiener-mobile, and while on that ride tweeted out a pic of his wiener, he would be… a whining wiener named Wiener in a wiener tweeting his wiener. Whew!! I feel much better now.
I think Senator Weiner has opportunistically used his name to his advantage. Let’s face it, the same bully that stuffed him in the locker in the 7th grade, went straight to the polls to vote from the local pub after calling in sick on Election Day, saw “Weiner” on the ballot, had no real knowledge of whom Weiner or his opponent was, and went, “Heehee!! Weiner!? Hell yes! That’s whom I ‘m voting for. (Internal dialogue, of course.)
Not long ago, pulsating with rage at the republicans, Weiner decried NPR’s Car Talk as “pollution of the airwaves”. OK, so he was actually being sarcastic. But I had to look twice, because, he was acting, well, like a wiener.
And while we are on the subject of “taking pictures of your junk”, who EVER thinks this can be a good idea? If you get the urge to open your pants and snap your wiener, JUST SAY NO! (Or in general, say NO to taking a picture of that region, pants on or not) Guys, I’m just going to say this once. The most promiscuous, sexually active, open minded, heterosexual woman in the world will have the same reaction to receiving that picture as your sister would. It will NOT be “wow.. look at that wiener – that makes me hot”. No, it will just be “EWE!!
2 comments:
I may have to lift some of this for my Facebook status as it is too good to pass on.
And you're right about the picture in your pants. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT, just ask Brett Favre.
Not just "EWE". That's a female sheep. It's more like (and say this with attitude), "Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww!".
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