Triatheletes

The registered trademark of the triathlon event that was evolving and emerging in the 70’s was: Swim 2.4 miles! Bike 112 miles! Run 26.2 miles! Brag for the rest of your life".

Yeah - I didn’t really do that. I’m proud of both myself and my fellow mini-triathaletes - but really - it would be an insult to triathaletes the world over to refer to myself as a triathalete after doing that “mini” triathlon.

All and all, I fared much better than I expected as I pretended to be Michael Phelps, Lance Armstrong and Usain Bolt, all in one race. However… before I watched the results getting posted, I was thinking, “I should do pretty well in my 45-50 age category”, only to see that the fastest time of the day (from all comers of all ages) was…. in the men 45-50 age grouping. If I’d have lied about my age and said I was ten years younger, I would have faired much better (comparitively). I guess I’m in the more-motivated “trying to prove something-and-can’t-really-accept-we’re-ageing” age category. (With all the “mini” and “maxi” talk they really needed a sanitary napkin tie in. Do I have to think of everyone’s marketing for them?)

But the race went as I expected – I did a lot better than most in the pool – a bit better than most on the bike – and awful on my feet – which thankfully was only a short part of the race – but all of which was a great reminder that one can be in pretty good shape - but that doesn’t mean you’re in swimming shape, or running shape, or biking shape.

I really do feel good about having completed the race. But I confess, too, that I had a dream last night where the race organizer got up in front of all of us who participated, and said: “Thank you for coming out today. I love to put these races together so I can observe, identify and nurture people who show promise as an athlete; unfortunately I didn’t see any of that today. You can all go home now”

And as I got some gasoline out of the shed this morning to get the grease numbers off my arms and leg (ok not really grease – they were written on with a sharpie – progress!), I was feeling some post–race blues. I’m afraid I may need to move up to the “maxi” race to feel better. And that might mean actually training – not just aimlessly working out at the gym. Here was my training/pre-race build up for the two weeks leading up to the “Triathlon”:

- Go to the gym as normal
- Grocery shop as normal
- Pick up kids and run them around as normal
- Eat a little extra - because I’d better start carbing up!!
- Register for the race
- Rent a road bike for 24 hours
- Buy some race shorts that can get wet and don’t require a change between race segments
- Wear said race shorts on a tune up bike ride and then wear them around the house just long enough to hear your 17 year old son say, “OMG dad! Please tell me you’re not going out in public in those!!”
- Fill water bottle
- Drive to race
- Wait 2.5 hours to start because there were 400 people there to participate

Whew!! That was exhausting! The preparation, not the race. The race was over in 48 minutes.

Now what’s next? Ah yes – Mountain Climbing – soon I will be a Mountain Climber –

OK, training checklist: - go to the gym as normal - grocery shop as normal…. Ah, no rest for the middle-aged-man-in-denial.