Desert Mursing Needs

There are many advantages to living in the desert. From dry foods seeming to never go stale to towels that hang dry in minutes, there are a myriad of sunny reasons to love the southwest lifestyle of outdoor rooms and exterior activity. As a result of endless gorgeous days one after the other, a morning ritual evolved with my neighbor Mark in my old neighborhood. Each morning we would walk out the front door and grin at each other across the street until one of us exclaimed "still doesn't suck!" I have to give Mark the credit for coming up with this joyous and poignant exclamation of our mutual appreciation of a beautiful morning.

Another benefit to desert living is how people dress. 15 years ago I was wearing a suit and tie to work every day. The business community has loosened up a bit over the last 15 years - but nowhere more than in Phoenix, Arizona. I now wear ties more often for personal events than professional functions. When I started my current management job, they said "any other district office, you need to be in full business attire. But here in Phoenix, it gets hot!" Never mind that summer is when everyone needs to bring a sweater to work to keep from catching a cold in the frigid air conditioned environment.

But for a man, there is a down side to this tolerance for casual attire. Frankly, I have nowhere to put my two cell phones, ipod, keys, wallet, band aids, wipes, handkerchief, nail clippers and chap stick. Sure, I know what you're thinking. Why don't you keep your wallet in your pants? Well, when I turned 40 and my hip started hurting all the time, my chiropractor told me I probably unbalanced the earth's axis, and my spine, by keeping my wallet in my back left pocket for 25 years. So the obvious answer to my storage woes is that I need a purse.

But for god's sake, Shirley, I can't carry a purse! I considered the "murse". Described at Urban Dictionary as "a man-purse. very fashion-forward right now, seen on many hipster guys." So that's obviously not an option. I saw some khaki pants advertised recently that has lots of hidden pockets for electronic devices. But I already am not wearing a coat that should hide my middle-aged bulge. So adding lumps to my hips doesn't appeal to me either. "Ewe!! Look mommy! That man has nicely tailored pants with no visible pockets - but there are lumps all over the sides of his hips and legs." No thanks.

So "yippee" that winter finally arrived yesterday; because I am wearing a coat. Yes, winter arrives in Phoenix in one day. Two days ago it was still in the eighties. Yesterday the temperature topped out at 69! And now, all my stuff is alphabetised in a clockwise circumference starting with the interior pockets, and the bulk is nicely balancing my upper body so that I am shaped in the most ideal way a man can be shaped. I have 5 months (give or take a month, depending on global warming effects) that I do not have to worry about my storage-challenged self.

For now, no worries. Maybe by next summer I'll be a hipster guy - but probably not.