Once upon a time, flying was considered special - exciting and even romantic. Stewardesses – yes I said it – stewardesses were trained to wait on the customers and make them feel privileged and special. And the airline was very focused on our comfort and convenience. We could even smoke on the planes (ack!). My parents raised their family during these times – and they still employ their flying clothes – khaki skirt, blouse and sweater for mom – slacks, tie and blazer for dad. Meanwhile, the next generation was evolving. As my job required more and more air travel, I developed exactly the opposite habit. Before catching that flight home at the end of the trip, I’d dash into a rest room and put on jeans and a t-shirt.
These habits are more a reflection of the state of air travel then my slovenly fashion taste (I hope). And so I go back to yesterday’s two-and-a-half-hour ticket buying experience. To be accurate, it is much closer to six hours. Here are the highlights:
On line search:
The on line search seemed fairly straight forward. But at Allegiant Air, they want to charge a little something extra for virtually everything. (Although I’d heard this before, it was truly a shocking to experience.)
The on line search seemed fairly straight forward. But at Allegiant Air, they want to charge a little something extra for virtually everything. (Although I’d heard this before, it was truly a shocking to experience.)
Drive to Mesa Williams Gateway (twice)
In order to avoid on-line booking fees, I drove out to this remote secondary airport only to find that they only sell ticket between 2pm and 4pm, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. So we came back the next day at about 2:30pm.
The Line:
The line was about 30 people deep when we arrived. The nice young lady in front of us had a cooler with food and drinks, and a portable chair – like what you’d bring camping or to the fireworks - or to wait in line overnight for Justin Beiber tickets. After about ten minutes, she set up the chair and started playing Words-With-Friends. (Insert Alec Baldwin joke here). Eventually, we struck up a conversation with her, and found out we were going to be there 2-3 hours; and this is what we learned about how ticket sales are managed.
The two hour window is when they allow people to get in line - but the actual sales will last until the people in line get their tickets. But they only sell tickets when they have no one to check in for a flight. This turned out to be about 5% of the time. And although there were five people checking in air travelers, only one or two are trained and authorized to sell tickets. So in those rare moments there is a break in check-ins, most of the Allegianteers stand around trying hard not to make eye contact, because as annoying as this is to us, it’s downright embarrassing if you work there.
Luckily the people in line seemed to all have a sense of humor. On the rare occasions someone got to move up and buy tickets, everyone in line would cheer. This was good for our spirits as participants in line waiting; but further humiliated the impotent Allegianteers. When we asked a security agent for clarification about the procedure for buying tickets, he said, “you don’t want to make a fuss – they’ve all been working all day!” Seriously?
After two and a half hours, we got to the front of the line and got to buy our tickets. (woohoo!!). The ticket agent was nice enough, but here is how it goes down:
- Check a bag? Pre buy, $25 – at check in, $35
- Carry on? Pre-buy, $25 – at check in, $35 (unless it fits under your feet)
- Isle seat? Fee
- Window Seat? Fee
- Want to sit next to someone you know? Fee (This was particularly interesting – if you are traveling with someone else, and want to sit with them, it will cost extra. The computer randomly assigns you a seat. It’s not open seating. So there is NO CHANCE you will end up sitting with your traveling companion(s) unless you pay extra for it. They have an algorithm to insure you don’t.
I get it. By making the cheapest way to book the most inconvenient way to book, it drives buyer behavior. But it’s all bad juju. Nobody likes it. Not the customers. Not the employees. So we planned the trip this way and we’ll do this trip this way – a flight to Grand Rapids, MI from Mesa, AZ. But it’s unlikely we’ll ever do it again. It’s a form of bait-and-switch – which is scammer stuff. Or – you know – bad juju!
My favorite thing about the experience is this: the people we stood in line with were frustrated, but good natured about it. We all laughed and cheered and rallied – and it reminded me of a scene from a silly little science fiction movie from the 80's called “Starman”. Jeff Bridges (playing an alien) says to Marian (from Indiana Jones), you know what is most wondrous and fascinating about you humans? (I’m paraphrasing). That when things are at their very worst, you are at your very best.”
OK – the line at Allegiant is hardly Armageddon. But still, I love the human condition – and believe most of us are truly at our best when faced with adversity. Or inconvenience. Or annoyance. Or Wal Mart . Whatever. We are good at our core. Thanks, Allegaint. Assholes.
