I’ve had this Canadian $5 bill in my wallet for years. It’s cool – it has a hockey player on it! But a couple of weeks ago I figured I may as well change it in for $4.87 American (the exchange rate that day on the Internet). So one Sunday while at the grocery store, I took it to the bank - a nice thing that banks now do, having branches attached to grocery stores with weekend and evening hours. Unfortunately, they indicated that they could not do foreign exchanges; except Monday-Friday before 2pm. I inquired why this is so – “If I can’t exchange money at the bank, I think you guys are slipping a little.” (I had just called a couple lady's "you guys", which is a clear indicator I'm not from Phoenix - and a further indicator that where I am from, calling Canadian currency "foreign currency" is like calling Labbatt's "exotic foreign nectar"). They did not think my comment was funny. They further indicated that they can only exchange it at those times because they use the exchange rate that the New York Stock Exchange uses; so obviously it must be while the New York Stock Exchange is open. I thought, but did not say, “I think speculation on the value of the Canadian dollar won’t fluctuate all that much by tomorrow – I mean, how much could you lose or gain in the exchange of 5 loony’s”? The guard was inching closer. Time to leave.
I sort of get it. If I was exchaging 50,000 loony’s the difference could add up. Of course, I don't have 50,000 Canadian dollars – I have five. (I realize I am not using the term “loony” correctly. That is the nickname of the $1 Canadian coin. But I love that nickname – so I’m using it anyway in reference to the Canadian dollar in general.) So anyway, I thought it would make more sense for the bank to just set a limit on the amount that could be exchanged. But banks being banks, they seem to be doing less and less for me - from a service standpoint. Not even the branch managers seem to be able to make a decision without picking up the phone anymore. Provided I could locate and speak with the Branch Manager, I was confident that he or she would have parroted the same drivel about not being able to exchange 5 loony's while the New York Stock Exchange was closed.
Yesterday, I was passing the bank at lunch and thought I may as well exchange that $5 Canadian bill. It was well before 2 pm and the New York Stock Exchange was sure to be open. When I arrived at the counter and produced my exotic foreign currency, I was informed that they could take the bill, but I have to have an account with them (which I do) and the exchanged value would have to be deposited directly into my account.
This should be acceptable. I am to receive the exchanged value that way. But it also baffled me - and it also amused me. So I replied, “I understand what you are saying. But hypothetically, if I just wanted to exchange it for actual physical American currency, where could I do that? My bank just seemed like the obvious place." The look on the teller's face clearly indicated that my question was unnexpected, and a bit dissapointing, since she had already explained how it must be done. Since the nice, attractive teller did not have a clue how to answer my question, a supervisor nearby stepped in and helpfully suggested, “I think you can exchange it at any time of day or night, 7 days a week at the international terminal at the airport.” And I wanted to, but did not, say “what do they know know at the airport about money that, you – my bank – do not?” I was clearly talking too much. The guard was inching closer.
And so I reflected – this time on the broader concept of the evolution of banking. When it comes to actually getting help from a banker they have become financially impotent. (I am using the term "banker" to indicate a live person working at a bank). I'm finding that many face to face or phone interchanges with "bankers" end with them instructing, “I can’t do that, but you can do it on-line or at an ATM.” Great! You are an impressive individual who can talk, but that’s about it.
One upside in the evolution of banking is they seem to be a lot nicer than they used to be. But to what end? As I remember bankers 20-30 years ago, one could get a lot of advice and service and even decisions made about banking requests – but they were sort of curt and skeptical and even rude at times. These days, they smile and nod in complete empathy, but in the end I am left feeling a little like when I leave the Department of Motor Vehicles; where it is their sworn duty to send you away unsatisfied, in search of more information or another form.
So I've decided that my foreign exchange journey must be a sign. The cool currency with the hockey player on it is much more entertaining than $4.88 US (today’s exchange rate). So I’m just going to keep it forever. Or at least until the volatility of the US and Canadian dollars make the exchange rate too attractive to ignore. Say, when $5 Canadian is worth $100 US. Or as I said before, forever.
