But there are times when I observe the evolution of things that, with the best of intentions, took something away from our kids’ youth. Here are a few:
No More Safety PatrolI understand that putting the 5th grader in charge looks silly now. But really, it was great for the 5th grader. It was the first place I can remember learning a bit about responsibility and – as Judy said – being in charge. Unlike 5th grade girls though, I’ve never had a palpable desire to be in charge – but it seems I’ve always had a job where I am in charge. And I think the trend started with the Safety Patrol. I wanted to do it. I wanted the responsibility. And as silly as it may sound, I took it seriously. This is not a developmental opportunity my kids have had. When they were in elementary school, the closest thing I can think of would be student politics. But that is often a popularity contest. Safety Patrol was not. (In fact, it may have been the opposite). But I was never drawn to student government. And yet, whenever I had a job, I tended to end up in charge. (Son Frank ran for 5th grade class president within weeks of having transferred to a new school. He didn’t win of course, but that took cahones!)
No More Paper Boys
Have you noticed how creepy the newspaper delivery person has become? Don’t you miss the kid that rode his bike around the neighborhood and threw newspapers on porches? I was that kid! (At least for a while). And I was dying to do it. Despite 4am wake ups, an uphill paper route, and a creepy old guy I’d never collect from because he scared the crap out of me – I REALLY wanted to be a paper-boy! (Even after being an egg-delivery boy in the snow.) So when I hit that 11 year old age limit, I became that paper-boy. It was a rite of passage.
Safety Helmets
OK, helmets are good – bike helmets are great – when you are on a bike. But have you seen the little kid in a mall on a leash with a bike helmet on? There is such a thing as over kill. I just had to throw that one in because life has SOME risk, and we have to teach our kids to understand that, too.
Cell Phones
As parent it is great to be able to get a message to and from your kids anytime you want. It gives me much peace of mind. On the other hand… when we didn’t have that ability, kids had to develop more responsibility earlier, so as to effectively manage their time. In addition, we all had to plan a lot better, and be more punctual. If you weren’t on that corner at that time for that ride; you probably were walking. I don’t think this is really a better or worse sort of thing. There are clear advantages to more immediate communications in all walks of life. But it is different, and we therefore developed different habits at different times based on these realities. I’m not sure how much I would have liked my mom knowing exactly where I was every minute; nor do I think she would have wanted to know. But now we can GPS track our kids by their phones. Yikes! The danger I see in this one is making sure we develop trust. I know parents who track their kids and drug test their kids and go through their texts and drawers; even when the kids have given them no reason not to trust them. Trust is a pretty basic root of strong relationships. But that kind of invasiveness is not teaching them to trust – just the opposite.
So anyway – chime in with bitter-sweet things from your youth that have changed……
